


in which plants are punk, after all

by shamelessllamapeanutthing



Series: Izzah's wolfstarbingoficlets [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mindless Fluff, Sirius Black Being an Idiot, Sirius Black Loves Remus Lupin, but a cute one, towards the very end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28069125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessllamapeanutthing/pseuds/shamelessllamapeanutthing
Summary: Remus Lupin is extra, Sirius Black is failing Herbology, and the former is the solution to the latter.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Izzah's wolfstarbingoficlets [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044234
Comments: 19
Kudos: 47
Collections: Wolfstar Bingo 2020





	in which plants are punk, after all

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt- Herbology

Sirius Black was a genius and that was a Fact.

Sirius Black was _also_ an idiot and three Marauders would swear by that, of whom, one was Remus John Lupin, hence immediately increasing the credibility of that statement.

… no matter how much Sirius sulks about it.

So, the Idiot had decided he was too punk for ‘this shit’ (namely Herbology), and decided to lock the Genius into the metal-clad depths of the Idiot’s mind, where you couldn’t even hear his cries over all the rock music the Idiot had playing in his head, and was now failing Herbology.

Deliberately.

Like an idiot.

After thirteen (13) ‘your boyfriend is a clown’s from Lily Evans, some seven (7) ‘aren’t you going to talk to him about this’s from Peter Pettigrew and nearly a million (1,000,000) panicked ‘Moony do something’s from James Potter, Remus had decided he had to do something.

Trying to talk to Sirius somehow ended in a bet about who could magically colour James’ hair a more atrocious shade which Remus lost to Sirius’ vomit green/purple hybrid shade that he really couldn’t bear to look at for long enough to properly determine what colour it categorically was. While Sirius had agreed to start paying attention in Herbology if Remus won the bet, he had also told Remus he’d have to climb on to the table in the Great Hall and announce, verbatim, ‘plants ain’t shit and Herbology sucks tits’ during dinner, if he lost.

So after serving an hour in detention for five days straight, Remus had decided, he would have to get serious with Sirius.

… and then he giggled at the pun for about a minute.

Two days after said decision (and some sneaky… sneaking around Sprout’s greenhouses) Remus told James and Peter to stay out of his way when he went to the dormitory that evening.

With a potted house plant.

Sirius, who was sprawled across his bed tinkering with Remus’ Rubicks Cube, sat up at the sight of it.

“Holy… _Moony, what is that?”_ His voice trailed away into a whisper, as if the appearance of a house plant in their dorm room could be nothing but a means for some super secret mischief making. Remus rolled his eyes before he strode over to set the plant between his and Sirius’ beds.

“This plant is called a _monstera_ ,” Sirius’ brows quirked up at that, the name of the plant catching some of his interest like Remus knew it would. “I saw it in Sprouts’ greenhouse and it reminded me of that album you like by that one band, Unfits or something-…”

“Famous Monsters by the Misfits.” Sirius said, eyes wide as he gazed at the plant with newfound awe.

“Yeah, that one, and I… I stole it for you. It’s a muggle plant and there were more of these so I doubt she’d notice but-… oomph!”

Remus’ explanation was cut short by Sirius’… well, body as it was thrown into his arms. Remus breathed in the soft strawberry scent of Sirius’ shampoo (it was amusing how little Padfoot cared about how non-punk his strawberry shampoo was given how well it worked for his hair and Remus couldn’t understand why the same logic couldn’t be applied to his studies) and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. All feelings of guilt over lying had been conveniently driven out of him in his very first year at Hogwarts courtesy his very own boyfriend and their two gremlin friends. 

“You stole a plant for me?” Sirius whispered, and nuzzled Remus’ neck, laying affectionate pecks all over his skin. “Oh Moony, that’s so romantic.”

Remus grinned.

_Sirius was so fucking predictable._

…

The change was instantaneous.

The _monstera_ was a really hardy plant to begin with. It didn’t need a lot of looking after, but Sirius was devoted to keeping it healthy and growing, almost like his life depended on it. He watered it, changed the soil as needed, trimmed it, and even _talked to it_.

He read up on plants, and how to take care of them, and grinned broadly whenever anyone mentioned how majestic his plant looked.

Which meant he had to, very publicly, change his stance on how punk plants were. The latest declaration said that they were, in fact, badass because ‘ _they give us oxygen and shit and punks appreciate nature and stuff because they aren’t mean, thankless bastards. Seriously, keep up, James.’_

It was adorable…

… and it also helped Sirius’ grades because he didn’t _have_ to flunk Herbology now that plants were punk.

As it was, Remus didn’t truly realise how much his little gift meant to Sirius, till they graduated, got a house together and Sirius immediately got to growing a garden in their yard.

For Moony.

Houseplants flooded their apartment, the thriving monstera being the first of many and Sirius always grinned a wide, pleased smile when he brought in a new sapling, eyes sparkling as he waited for Remus to praise him. Remus on his end, did everything he could to encourage his boyfriend’s adorable hobby, while also maintaining his righteous bafflement at _‘how has it come to this’_ and also _‘he loves me, dear god he loves me’_ plus some _‘what have I done to deserve him’_. 

Truth of the matter was, Sirius looked downright stunning working in their garden in his black undershirt, his muscled, tattooed arms on display and a gorgeous grin on his sweaty face. His big, strong hands, callused from years of Quidditch, were unbelievably gentle on the fragile stems of new saplings and threading vines through poles with unending patience. The little shelf of small potted plants in the living room was Sirius’ pride and there was something inexplicably attractive about Remus’ badass, motorcycle riding, boyfriend being so gentle and nurturing towards the plants, cooing at them and talking to them and watering them diligently.

The plants grew taller and stronger as time passed. Their garden flourished. The monstera, however, stayed in their bedroom.

_… and that was exactly where it was left when the news broke in November 1981, withering and dying when no one came to water it for months and months and months._

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and lemme know what you thought???
> 
> Come scream at me about Harry Potter on [my Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/shamelessllamapeanutthing)


End file.
